Should I be concerned?

A new pet peeve of mine are these fucked up napkin dispensers that are out now. We've all seen them around, the ones in the long plastic sleeve that dispense one worthless napkin at a time. So I'm in Atlanta and my allergies have my nose running like a faucet stuck on open, when I approach the "Eco Friendly" napkin dispenser. Because of my nose situation one napkin would be the equivalent of giving a menstruating elephant a single Kotex. As I begin "finger banging" the napkin dispenser for more napkins like a farmer trying to extract a calf from a pregnant cows snatch; I notice the clerk looking at me like some middle aged pervert in a trench-coat trying to scalp tickets to kids at a fucking Hanson concert. Moral of the story, if you have allergies bring your own napkins.